Sunday, January 10, 2010

LDS Family Services: Isn't It About Time...To Get It On?

My previous post on Marijuana and the Word of Wisdom (WoW) was inspired by what I viewed as an irony where the government may in some cases dictate what is permissible for medical use under the WoW. Another irony came to mind as I was thinking a few days ago about Alma's advice to his son Corianton, that wickedness never was happiness.

In full disclosure, my wife and I are trying to adopt through LDS Family Services. We have already adopted once and it was a great experience. We occasionally are contacted by various birth mothers and will reply to emails, hoping that someone will choose us. After recently being contacted by a potential birth mother, I inadvertently thought to myself that I was grateful that she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, so that some family could have children, even if it was not mine. And that is where the irony kicks in.

There are hundreds of couples that are waiting, praying, fasting, and sacrificing so that they will be chosen for adoption. And the only way for this to happen is for, in most cases, a boy and a girl to commit a serious violation of the Law of Chastity. That leads me to wonder, only hypothetically, should I pray for more of these scenarios to happen so that I can adopt? It blesses the lives of many. I suppose it's just one of those things where a good situation can occur from a bad one, but I do find it ironic that the happiness that I experience with my son was caused by the wickedness of someone else. Perhaps God does have a sense of humor, or at least a sense of irony.


Nate said...

This post made me laugh...which causes another problem. Should you laugh at an irony that is pointed out that is funny, but has people on both sides in difficult situations? Should I feel guilty?

I think God must have a sense of humor though. While we know he may watch and have heartache over some of our decisions, He probably gets plenty of laughs watching us down here.

Jeremy said...

That is quite ironic that some members of the Church can benefit from the grevious mistakes of others. But I guess from a universal perspective, we are all here to help each other out.

I've always felt that in pre-mortality we saw the various situations we would be put into and made promises to those whom we would be in contact with to help out. Is it possible that we discussed this sort of situation there?

lou said...

Recently, I pondered the phrase, "....there must needs be opposition in all things". I thinks this situation falls into that category. Some loving 2 parent families want to but can't have babies, and a single girl not ready for the responsibilities that a child brings can get pregnant easily. Either way, the Lord provides a way for the needs of everyone to be met.

I disagree with Nate, I don't think He is laughing while watching us because He is a perfect parent. He hopes we will turn to Him with our struggles because He can show us the way through them. (I could be wrong, maybe He's laughing at Nate:) )

I find it interesting that we fought so hard to come down here and have agency and then complain when we have the consequences of our agency. (or the consequences from the agency of someone else)

I think that the Lord follows the Laws set up by Him and when bad things happen He is in a position to make good come of it. Not unlike the organ donation program. Thousands of families are dying every year waiting for a transplant. We don't pray for someone to die so our loved one can live, we are just grateful for the technology that saves lives through the program.

My short answer would be (too late) you don't need to pray for a young lady to get pregnant so you may adopt. Bad choices will happen without that. You could, however, pray for her to be guided to you and your wife as an answer to her prayers and yours.

Good luck with the adoption.

Nate said...

Lou, I'm sure he is laughing at me. Sometimes kids do really dumb things and the only reaction is...'well duh, what did you think was going to happen,' and then you laugh while the consequences unfold. I don't think unplanned pregnancy is one of those, but there must be something.

When I was young, my brother thought it would be funny to hit a .22 shell with a sledge hammer to see what it did. This was a serious matter, it easily could have ended bad...but as it turned out, he merely had a bunch of gravel stuck in his leg and had to get a tetanus shot. My dad laughed in the end...I wouldn't begrudge Heavenly Father a laugh at that.

He probably thinks its hilarious in some ways when I'm at my wits end because my children wont obey.

Sean said...

Maybe people should stop aborting because they don't want a baby. There are many who can't have children that would love to adopt.

Anonymous said...

I think God is going to let us be human, which includes making mistakes every now and then.

Having a desire to adopt doesn't mean you are supporting in anyway those mistakes. It is kind of funny that you seem self conscious about it. The way I look at it is you are helping turn someone's difficult situation into a good thing.

Good luck with your adoption.

Anonymous said...

I am reminded of the time when, as a 29 year old Bishop in Houston, that Huricaine Rita was barreling towards us and we were under a mandatory evacuation. Just before I left our home, I knelt down with the intention of praying that the storm would blow a different direction and spare us. As I began to pray, I believe the Lord helped me to envision another Bishop somewhere else praying that the storm would keep the course it was on and spare his ward the trial.
What I took from this was a desire to just be firm and faithful that the Lord was aware of everyone's circumstance and that he will reward those that are faithful to him. There is a reward for those that find themselves in the situation of unwanted pregnancy if they seek it, just as there is a reward to them that wish to have children to raise in righteousness. The principles are the same; faith and patience in the Lord.

Anonymous said...

My wife just mentioned that you could perhaps pray that more of the girls choosing to keep their children which are ill-prepared to do so will find the wisdom to place them in a home such as yours instead.
Good point.

Anonymous from the previous post

I LOVE YOU said...


The Clayton Clan said...

I am the sister and aunt of girls who have born children out of wedlock and placed them in loving 2-parent homes. I say all the time, "The Lord works with what we give him." At 15, when my brain was right at the peak of it's mushiness, turned to the consistency of oatmeal, I decided that getting married to my 18-year-old boyfriend was a good idea. I could ask anybody and they would say loudly, "NO!" Would I want my daughters to get married at 15 (or 18, or 20)? NO! But the Lord worked with what I gave him. Almost 27 years ago I did marry that boyfriend. I am still married to him. It has been a hard, long, painful road. Would I do it again? NO! UNLESS I HAD THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE NOW. The love and joy that we have now after living 27 years together and sharing 7 wonderful children together has made the pain and sorrow that we went through worth it. But the Lord could only work with what we gave him.